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(WARNING! You must have a sense of humor the following!
If not, please do not apply. Thank you.)

If you would like to be considered for a coveted and hard-to-attain spot in our family of artists, you are more than welcome to submit a demo of your music to Static Records by sending a CD, cassette tape and/or VHS video and promo kit (bio and photo) and large sums of cash & cool toys to the address listed below.

(NOTE: Anyone sending a demo package certified mail or any delivery method that  requires a signature or someone to be here personally or picked up at the post office - your CD WILL automatically be used as a frisbee/drink coaster/Xmas tree ornament/mirror/skeet target or whatever usage we see fit that doesn't involve actually LISTENING TO IT!!! Thank you.)

While we are an eclectic label, there ARE limits, so please no  blues, jazz, rap, klezmer, bluegrass, twee, death metal,  etc. Slipknot wannabes and Matchbox 20 clones need not apply. (If you sound just like Creed or Pearl Jam, please wait right where you are for a representative of Static Records to come to you and BEAT YOU WITH AN AXE HANDLE UNTIL YOU EITHER SAY YOUR SORRY FOR BEING LAME OR THE COPS SHOW UP!!!

Do not send us 20 page bios of where you went to school and how you started playing at age 5 and how you really love music (we all do, that's why we started a label), photos of your band in a cemetery with beer cans (especially if the guy with a mullet is not wearing a shirt!), senior pictures, photos you think are humorous and no one else does, letters written in crayon on fast food wrappers, letters from prison, lengthy descriptions on how the kids in your school think "you is da shiznatch!", etc. Just the facts, please.

(If you have a 7th string on your guitar for that "extra-Satanic tone", tell your singer that backwards red baseball caps have been done already and save your stamps, mmmkay?)

Please do not send MP3s as attachments and we will not visit your web site to "check you out". While the Internet has made it very easy for bands to get their music available to a broad audience, we don't have time to visit every site, deal with 404 errors, download uncompressed WAV files AND have time to comb thru eBay to find whatever kitschy goodies float our boats that day. Pull off the Information Superhighway and go Pony Express as you revive your atrophied writing skills to send what we've requested in the first paragraph. Thank you.

If you are interested in trading shows with our bands, let us know and we will keep you in mind for a Detroit show.

Finally, if you call or IM us repeatedly  to ask if we've listened to your stuff, it's a virtual certainty that wherever you were in the stack will instantly become the very last thing at the bottom of the stack. If you've included an e-mail address, you WILL be contacted when we've had a chance to give your material a full hearing.

Good luck and thank you for your interest in Static Records.

17215 Mack Ave.
Detroit, MI 48224
(313) 886-7860